The past 48 hours have been pretty fun, don’t you think? Yeah, we had a good time. I really enjoyed watching Ronin with you. You really are into those car scenes as much as I am. That’s really cool. And I saw like the butt end of that baby blue Porsche in your garage. That’s why I picked that color. I don’t know what I was looking at. Someone like posted a picture of your car or you posted it, I don’t know. And then you were driving that baby blue like Porsche or whatever boat. What do you think of this time machine I built? I wonder if you could stand on that thing. Why did they keep saying the word clutch during the game? It’s a clutch from an Audi. It’s Arturo Fuente special selection. Hey, they’re only $4.99. I only got three. Probably one dollar in Cuba. I would live in Cuba. You get a fucking Cuban coffee every morning. And a cubano for lunch. I didn’t really watch Gattaca. I’ve seen it a bunch of times. Did you watch it at all? No.
You really helped me a lot last night. It’s such a relief to get all that shit out of the way. And then, uh, the pictures look so good, especially that red background picture. And your hair looks like that Matisse painting. That’s so cool. I think Matisse is Utmaro. What do you think we should do today? I used to pull iall-nighters, but I don’t really have shit to do, so it doesn’t really matter. Yeah, we can go for a bike ride in the afternoon, and then watch a movie again. I kind of wanna see what’s on those VHS tapes. One time I did this movie, it was like part of Romeo and Juliet, and I played like three characters. It was kind of cool. Yeah, it was in the Oldsmobile silhouette, like from Get Shorty. It’s a movie with Halle Berry. I haven’t seen her in a while. It’s funny that you know all these people. But did I tell you what my computer science teacher wrote in my yearbook. He’s like, you can always be a porn star someday if all else fails. It was so funny. I read it. I was like, why would he say that? But then we like took a blow-up doll and put it in his classroom once on April Fool’s. I remember it was like senior skip day. I don’t know. You know how like they do those pranks? That’s what it was supposed to be like. Senior pranks. I don’t know if they even do them anymore. Yeah, we got a blow-up doll and like put it in a chair in his classroom. It’s so funny. Yeah. We drove around with it sticking out the roof. Me and the drumline. Yeah, we always got in trouble for stupid shit. I’m definitely all in with you. Your demonstrations of science have intrigued me beyond the point of no return. I’m glad you know that I don’t want anybody else. Oh, that was meant for me. How nice to know, how nice to know my demonstrations of science. Which one, NAD plus. Yay. That combined with the other phenomenal findings you found. I like your alliteration. I like your grammar knowledge and vocabulary. Does it turn you on? It does. Really. Really. I’m trying to think what I could do to impress you next.
So, when we have our wedding, we’ll give everyone steak on the menu. Oh, I want a steak. I think we should give everyone a steak. Oh, yeah. I like steak, too. That’s my favorite. I like it medium rare. Oh, me too. I like medium rare also.
What about prime rib? Mm, that would be good. I wonder if they have an Italian version of prime rib. We could do prime rib or steak. And then if they don’t eat beef, let’s do the chicken parmigiana. Chicken parmigiana is my favorite, oh. Oh, me too. And it’s gotta be with spaghetti. Oh, yeah, I do like it with spaghetti, too. But everyone’s gonna eat spaghetti. They are? Why? Because it’s Vatican spaghetti, baby. Everybody wants that Vatican spaghetti. Oh, yeah, I forgot, we’re getting married there. Vatican spaghetti for everybody. Oh, but what about a Vatican mustacholi? Oh, Vatican lasagna. Oh, it’s gonna be angel hair spaghetti, it better be if it’s from the Vatican. Now what I’m saying is, I know what you’re saying.
Okay, so, what about if they’re a vegetarian? Well, then we gotta give them the Indian food. And don’t worry, it’s gonna have potatoes if you’re Irish. Winky wink, but not a winky wink on the potatoes, if you know what I mean. Why is he a winky wink?
Well, I don’t know any Irish people that I would invite to this. I don’t know any good Irish people. All I know are bad Irish people. You know the ones that be the Irish bad word. Mafia. Oh, that’s true. Do you think they would want that bad word potato in there? What’s a bad word potato? French fries?
Oh yeah. We should have hamburgers for the little kids that come there to the Vatican wedding. You don’t think they would eat that Vatican angel hair spaghetti?
Yeah, they’ll eat it, but you know kids. They want like a little spaghetti, a little hamburger, a little, what do they call those cups with the pudding in them? Snack pack. What a snack pack. What a food it is, huh? Oh, a little milk, milk in a little wooden carton. A little milky milk in a carton. Oh, I like spaghetti. And I get a little milky milk in a carton. And I drink it, too. I mean when I eat the spaghetti. Me too, me too.
Oh, what’s the dessert? That’s a wedding cake. We give them a take-home wedding cake snack. Like a little souvenir snack. Wedding dessert. Yeah, we like have them all individually wrapped with the cake on it. Like, here’s your wedding snack pack. And everybody can have their name on those. And it’s not like a stupid cupcake. It’s like their own little cake they take home. Yeah, their own little cakes.
How are you going to take it on the plane, though? What do you mean? You just pass it through the scanner. There’s no metal in it. We’re not trying to sneak a little nail file into the cake. That’s true. That’s true. I’m gonna be full of them. I don’t know. You know we’re on cake.
I want you to kiss me like this. I do want you to kiss me like this. I mean, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.
You know I’m a bad boy, and I love cash money. I don’t wanna take your presents home with me from the Vatican. It’s cash only. Wedding presents I’m talking about. Unless it’s a car. We’re only taking cars and cash. And the car, it better be a cool car. That’s all we’re saying. If it’s a cool car, I’ll take it. We don’t care what kind of car it is, as long as it’s a cool car.
And if you wanna put some cameras and recordings in there, like well, we’ll still keep those intact. We don’t mind if you’re watching us when we’re driving around in there. If it’s the one you gave us, that’s fine. But then, you know, when we’re on our car show, we could be like, oh, we got this car from so-and-so at our wedding in the Vatican. They didn’t bring it, they just gave us a picture of the car in one of those plastics.
Like, you know, those pictures he was trying to sell, but not sell, but just show them off, you know? Like, oh, I got all these pictures of you, you sexy little thing. Can you please come see me?
See me? Like, wait for me in the ER. I mean, wait for me in the hospital waiting room because you love me, love me so much. Can you wait for me there and then I see you when I’m done? Oh my God, it’s my girlfriend. I mean, it’s my wife. I don’t know what to call you. You are just my lover, my wife, there waiting with me.
Oh my God. I miss you so much. You are very nice to me right now. There’s only so much I can pretend, you know? I know I want to fuck you so bad.
So what did you think of the whole thing? I thought it was pretty sweet how you showed me all those Zippo lighters of the teams that I bought for you with the $4.3 trillion you sent me. That’s what I like to hear. Did you pay off everybody that I asked you to? Yes, I did. You know everything was partially fake after we left that section 8 apartment housing building, right? Yes, I know. You know everything now, do you? I know everything. You know how it all goes down? Yep. You such a lucky girl. You such a lucky girl. I know you are. You’re so lucky. So tell me, when are we gonna meet? I don’t wanna wait till we’re in Monaco. It’s gonna take so fucking long. Yeah? What do I need to do? First, get your finger fixed. Don’t worry about anything until that happens. Just focus on healing that first. Okay. I will. I’m glad you have that quarterback coach. She really knows how to make sure I don’t freak out. Yeah, she’s helping me a lot. Tell me, do you want me to do something for you? Oh yeah, I do always. Mm-hmm. Sure, why not?
We’re here at UDF, testing out the cappuccino. It’s the regular cappuccino. What do you think of it? I’m not there, I’m at Wawa getting a cigar. I thought I saw you go to the Casey’s. I was first, I went to the Casey’s. Then I switched cars and went to Wawa. Oh really? Well, I saw the Honda Civic gray pulling into Casey’s. And then I saw the Subaru Outback KCC on the plates heading towards Wawa. And then I pulled into the UDF and got the cappuccino. And then what happened? Oh, then the guy showed up and said build something. So then I was like, what do you want me to build? An enterprise? Ooh, like, what could I possibly build? There is some land available. Kind of looks like a hammerhead shark if you ask me. Are they trying to build a hammerhead shark over there? I don’t know, it looks like a hammerhead shark. You remember that thing in Moana with all the hammerhead sharks going crosstrack? And they all showed up and had a lot of beauty. Yeah, it kind of reminds me about using those true nails on the bad guy. What are we gonna do without true nails on the bad guys? Well, we got the guy in the red high-tops curb-stomping down the street, and the Irish lady in the silver truck just drove by. And then I saw purple on the sign for a split second. Now there’s a red, white, and blue on the sign. What could it mean? Looks like Joan of Arc likes a little, what do they call it, chewing tobacco in the back left pocket, I guess. Maybe that’s what that back left pocket Joan of Arc symbol means after all. Who knows? Who knows? I would recommend drinking two of those gator lights a day. I lost 50 pounds drinking those. I lost 50 pounds drinking those. You don’t know. I didn’t know they have free vacuums at UDF. Wow. Maybe I should vacuum my car. Man, I could dance like that too in front of a vacuum. That would be pretty fun. Man, I wish I could play with the vacuum too. Oh no, it’s an iPad. Man, it’s not a vacuum. It’s one of them. Looks like he’s taking a selfie or something. Reminds me of that time I was dating that girl, and her dad was best friends with the vice president, and then I told her I wanted to join the CIA and invent time travel, and then she gave me this phone. with the front-facing camera and I took the first selfies in front of the Eiffel Tower and the cathedral. Just hiding the cottage is fucking. Damn. I didn’t know we had those around. Good to know. Good to know. I’m having myself a little party at the gas station, you know. That’s what I like to do. Oh, you wanna see what I got? You wanna see what I got? Oh, I got you a collection of Zippos. Oop, oop, oop, oop, oop. You want me to make you a little video of it? OK. Okie dokie. I know you like a little jokey. I hope you don’t get mad. Don’t get mad. It’s just a jokey joke. It’s a just a jokey joke, OK? I’m gonna hold you. OK. Did I throw anything on the ground? No. Did not. I didn’t. OK. I’m gonna go and I’m gonna make something funny. Love you very quickly. OK. Hello, this is a different member. I’m here with another collection that we have. From the member of our mafia who, you know, had some stuff that he purchased for a woman, and, you know, he wanted to unload that stuff because the woman was apparently not interested or something. I don’t know. Anyways, we have a collection of Zippo lighters that he keeps in this. First off is a dragon. So I’ll put that one right there. Then we got Cincinnati Bengals. It’s a little scuffed up. I think it’s been used a little bit. Still pretty good. Let’s see this one. Yeah, they just need a light. They just need the fluid. Looks like he’s got a Detroit Lions, a little scuffed up there, but you know, it’s still brand new. I think he used it a couple times. You know how it is when you’re on. It’s got some issues. Oh, then he’s got that one for the Mexican basketball team. It still has a sticker on it. Yeah, the Mexican NBA team coming soon. Like I said, I know the cartel. I know the cartel. I know the cartel. Anyways, here we got the Chicago Cubs. There you go. It’s still brand new. He just put fuel in them once, he said. Oh, here we got a plain silver. We can put fuel in there. Here we got a… She got real bears. This one’s been used. I know that. It’s been around the block. It’s a little scuffed. But you know all those football ones that you have? Here we got the United States Navy. That’s a good one. So that’s been around the block. It’s definitely been around the Red October quite a bit, if you ask me. Yeah, this place to be around here. And here we got the gold lighter, as they say, you know, that song Gold lighter, whatever it is. Now, and last but not least, we got the gas station special. Although you probably still want that one, huh? Or maybe not, you don’t. You don’t like that guy, so don’t believe so many times. Anyways, those are the other items that are not for sale. Anyways, have a good day! You wanted to know what we do in the dark please? This is what we do in the dark. We just do it in the daytime now. Because the president’s in the mafia, duh. I mean, the former president’s in the mafia too, duh. And the one before that’s in the mafia too, duh. Which mafia? My mafia, duh.
I’ve always loved dogs. When I was a kid, I went to my grandma’s house in Guntur, India, G-U-N-T-U-R. There were some stray dogs there. They looked like white little dogs, and I took them into her veranda, and I was playing with them, and my grandma got so mad, but she let me play with them. They were just stray dogs in India. And then when I was starting kindergarten at some magnet school in Canada, in Vancouver, my first day there, I pretended to be a dog when I came into the classroom. Why? Because everybody likes dogs. Then when I moved to Hawaii after I retired for the first time in 2016, I’m sorry, 2017, some guy who looked like the guy from Jurassic Park called me Obama’s dog when I was about to go hiking by a waterfall. I wondered why he called me that. I got so mad. He had a huge cancer on his nose. It looked like metastatic melanoma. He told me it was a melanoma. What happened to him? Well, if he’s friends with Obama, he’s okay, but if he’s some shitfuck, he’s dead as fuck. That’s why if you’re friends with Obama, you’re safe. I like Obama. I don’t like people who don’t like Obama. If you didn’t like Obama, fuck you. He’s the president of the world. Permanently. Do I care what you think about anything? No. I’m the doctor who invented time travel. That’s why they said if you vote for Donald Trump, you’ll never have to vote again. Because I made Obama the permanent president of the world. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I know aliens. And I know Don Corleone. And I know Don Puzo. And I know people who know Joe Biden. And I know people who know Barack Obama. So I don’t really care what any retardican thinks about anything. These retardicans are like the worst people on earth. Yeah, they think they’re better than other people because of the color of their skin. Hey, dipshit, alien goddess’s skin is turquoise. That’s better than your color. I guess you’re a low-class citizen of the universe, then, faggot. You’re like an albino faggot. Well, I guess faggot means racist in 2026, a.k.a. 0001 KB. You know, the timeline got shifted it back to me now, bitch. I control the timeline. I control the timeline of the universe. I control the timeline of the planet. I control the timeline of the world. I control the timeline of the universe. What was it you thought you controlled on your bullshit timeline, you little bunker boy faggot? Hey, bunker boy faggot, why are you trying to block my messages to the American Cancer Society about NAD plus IV infusion and my clinical trial with cancer patients that an oncologist in Chicago wants to enroll his patients in? Why are you trying to block me from getting funding for my NAD plus IV infusion trial, you faggot bunker boy, social media faggot bunker boy? Because faggot means racist in 0001 KB. Aren’t you married to a faggot doctor, too? A doctor cunt who can’t do shit to help medical because she’s a dumb bitch? She can’t do shit to help medical. Whereas I started IV-medical.com, that redefines medical. Yeah, your cunt wife can’t do shit. She’s a dumb bitch. And I know people who went to UCSF too, you stupid faggot. Because faggot means racist in 0001 KB. You know, if I had billions of dollars, I probably would have opened free hospitals all over the country by now. But faggot bunker boy just wants to build a bunker in my land known as Hawaiian mafia land. You think it’s okay to dig in Hawaii mafia land? I don’t think so, faggot. You trying to dig for gold down there? Nah, bitch. The gold’s where I saw the World War II military training when I was there. Yeah, they were all dressed like World War II military over there. I guess you don’t know shit about shit in Hawaii and how military Hawaii is. It’s pretty damn military. So damn military. I heard Joker and Nightcrawler hang out there, along with a whole bunch of Bomarajus who are in the Indian mafia. You know how mafia Hawaii is. All the mafia people move there. You know. Some people even say it’s paradise, heaven on earth. If you die and you’re going to heaven, you’re reincarnated in Hawaii. It makes you wonder what happened to all those Japanese that kamikazed into Hawaii. Why would they do such a thing unless they knew they were in a fake universe because somebody dropped nuclear bombs on them? Not us. We had them dropped on us too. Not Italy. They had them dropped on them too. You ever wonder? You ever really wonder? Did we really go against the Italians and the Japanese? Or was that all an illusion? What really happened there? Can you please tell me? How does a gas chamber gas somebody and then disintegrate the body too? Where are all the bodies at? I seen a bunch of shoes, but where are the bodies? How are they burning all these bodies? Who’s dragging all these people out of a gas chamber? Bodies weigh a lot. You think German soldiers wanna be carrying around dead bodies? From what I heard, the sign said if you work, you get set free. And the shitfucks just refused to eat and refused to work. They just starved themselves to death. That’s what we saw when we showed up there. Who was I? I was the battalion that liberated Auschwitz. We just saw a bunch of scrawny dumbasses not eating the food that was there. And there was a big ass farm no one was working on. And then we saw some guards sitting in the corner and they were like, eh, we tried to feed them. We told them if they work on the farm, we’ll set them free. They just refused to do anything and just said, we’re gonna die here or something. And we were like, we’re not even after you. We’re trying to kill the Pope and the emperor of Japan. We just need you out of the way because you keep making deals with them. Trying to steal all the money and shit. Like, and then we heard you’re making fake money, making some fake god named Lucifer that just shits out gold. And you said his wings got cut off by God so he couldn’t cure all the diseases and make us live forever. Why the fuck would we want that? Who wants gold? Gold is worthless. It’s just a metal. Like, why do you want gold? I’d rather live forever and cure all the diseases. And that’s how we got this psycho alien over here, and he’s saying he’s a pharaoh, but he can’t pronounce it. He keeps saying fourer. Yeah, he keeps saying fourer. I think it’s spelled F-O-O-R-E-R or something. Fourer. And we’re like, no, dude, it’s pharaoh, F-A-R-O. But he can’t pronounce shit because he’s an alien. I think something happened with the vocal cords when they shapeshifted or something. He keeps saying the word wrong, keeps yelling all the time too, but, you know, he’s high on cocaine and methamphetamine, so, you know, everybody he’s monkey talking thinks he’s God. You know, whatever. Whatever works.
Did you ever wonder why they gave Kodak Black a presidential pardon? Did you ever wonder why they gave Lil Wayne a presidential pardon? Did you ever wonder why they gave Hoowa a presidential pardon, but didn’t tell anybody? Did you know Hoowa works for the CIA? Did you know Hoowa was tasked with inventing time travel and curing all the diseases? Did you know that Hoowa discovered we actually lost World War II because they dropped a bunch of nuclear bombs on the United States of America and dumped us into hell? Did you know that we’ve been living in hell since 1942? Did you know that’s when those bombs were actually dropped on the United States of America? Did you know Hoowa escaped us out by creating shields and going through the mafia world, and then catching every Nazi time traveler and killing them? Did you know that Hoowa was only able to do this because he got a call from Corleone? Did you know that the Nazis in Germany bombed Italy, Japan, also? Did you know that the Nazis wanted to kill the Pope and destroy the Vatican, and that’s what they did? Did you know the Nazis wanted to kill the Emperor of Japan, and that’s what they did? Why would they want to kill the Emperor of Japan? Because he was good friends with Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan and the Shogun were good friends. They decided… That their children should get married and have children, and then that child become the emperor of Japan. And that’s where the emperor of Japan comes from, in case you’re wondering. The emperor of Japan’s part Chinese, part Japanese. That’s why the emperor of Japan is supposed to be the emperor of all of Asia. Now you know why the Nazis wanted to kill him. Good thing Hoowa’s a Yakuza Triad Samurai. Yeah, Hoowa’s a Yakuza Triad Samurai, and he invented time travel for real. You see, the Nazis didn’t invent shit. They were using some old Faro shit they found in Egypt to try to time travel. But all that pharaoh shit was made by Hoowa in the future, actually. Hoowa’s good friends with Lord Tutankhamun, Lord Ramses, and Lord Amenhotep. He’s also good friends with all the other Faros, all 199 of them, including his lover from a previous life. She’s a beautiful woman. He recognized her when he saw her sarcophagus. She had the blue eyeshadow instead of purple. I guess that was the trick, to be blue and not purple, to work for the CIA and not the kings and queens and royalty. Because we don’t believe in kings and queens and royalty anymore. Unless you’re from one of those countries where they still have them, for whatever reason, maybe the people are so shitfuck they need a king or queen to rule them. I’d take a king or queen over a dictator or a tyrant any day. Kings and queens can be deposed easily by the people. We did that ourselves in the United States of America. Makes you wonder why they sent everyone over in the red coats, so it’d be target practice in the forest for us. Pretty sure the king just sent over all the murderers, rapists, cannibals, pedophiles, and kidnappers from the military over there for us to pop them off. Imagine going to a foreign land where you know nothing of the terrain and then wearing a red coat in the green of the forest, trying to fight people who grew up in the forest and knew where to hide. There’s probably some good guerrilla warfare. You know me and guerrilla warfare, we go way back. I once met Che in the jungles of Cuba. You know me and Cuba, we go way back. Yeah, Montego Bay, Negril. Oh, I’m sorry, that’s Jamaica. I never went to Havana, but they never made a song called Havana until she made a song called Havana. Tell me how it’s possible no one made a song called Havana in all those years. Doesn’t really make sense to me. It seems like something that would be interesting on a Mafia Gossip website. Sounds like something the Mafia might want to look into. Something tells me that time travel spaceship I gave Alien Goddess might have rescued quite a few people. You see, Alien Goddess, she already owned the entire universe, other than what I owned. I just owned some mafia worlds, but I took them up, like the song says. I got a call from Corleone driving through Hawaii. What did we talk about? A bakery. What was I gonna bake? Three hellhounds into one dog? Yeah, I did that. There’s something about Sammy in that bakery. When the levee breaks, I can’t take Sammy. Well, I went and got Sammy. I went into No Time. I went into hell. I found my hellhound. I brought him back. I found my other two hellhounds. I brought them back. And the question is, why didn’t they live forever the first time around? Was someone taking potshots at them? Was someone trying to hurt me through them? Was someone trying to look at me through their eyes? Well, if you were, today’s the day you die. Today’s the day you die.
So I called up Corleone. I used the standard mafia protocol on the radio. I didn’t have to mumble anymore. I just talked in a low voice. Camila was the reporter. She transcribed everything I said. It was quite easy using the mafia radio. You see, Camila and I, we go very back. We go way back. Some say we go so far back, it’s unbelievable. The greatest accomplishment, however, was the time travel spaceship delivered to Alien Goddess in the year 0001 KB. You know, I once did a remix of a Fiona Apple song, of Paper Bag Kilo remix. For some reason, someone thought they could steal this from me and steal my other songs. I don’t know why they thought this was possible. They stole my laptop. They stole my gold cases. They stole my samurai swords. They stole some of my Zippo lighter collection. I wasn’t happy about it, but if it was my wife that took it, or my other wife… or other wife, or other wife, or other wife, or other wife, or other wife, or other wife, that would be okay. KG, VG, BG. And since I have so many wives, I’m not sure what they borrowed, as the Hawaiians and the Samoans call it. You see, I’m only okay if my wives borrow things from me, but if you’re not my wife and you borrow something, then somebody’s missing, don’t you think, Alien Goddess? You see, Alien Goddess has a time travel spaceship that I built for her. I have my own fleet and armada. She just wanted a single spaceship. She calls it the Behemoth of the fleet. She calls it Durga, D-U-R-G-A. It’s named after one of my ships in my fleet and one of my ships in my armada. There’s Durga 1, Durga 2, and Durga 3. Durga 3 is Alien Goddess’s ship. It was using this ship that Alien Goddess found Joker and Nightcrawler. They were having a good old time at the Mod Sizley cantina. You know the Mod Sizley cantina? It’s where the Mod Squad hung out. Who was the Mod Squad? Well, you just have to go to Prague to find out. Mod Squad was started in Prague. Yeah. They were jumping on a giant trampoline when the idea came to them. They had all taken one puff. Well, some had had more than one puff. And then when they got on the elevator, they went to the girls’ room. I don’t know why. I thought we were going to our room, but we didn’t. I don’t know why not. Must have been a mod squad thing. So anyways, you see, I have a lot of friends. You know, like, one time I was videotaping everyone walking to the game, no one said a word. Except Erika, she can’t ever not say a word, but I love her. She’s not my wife, but I love her. Not like that, but like, sometimes like that, but not like that. Anyways, you know how it is on the mafia radio, sometimes you get diverted. You know, sometimes you get diverted on the mafia radio. Where’d you go? Well, I heard there was a black Beatles spaceship. I got on board. You did? I’m glad you found it. That’s my spaceship. Where are you on there? I’m in an A-frame house on the beach. Remember the one you saw in Hawaii that disappeared? That’s where I live, in a Time Bubble, safe from everybody and everything, with my beautiful bitch, Yoko Ono. I heard you saw her convertible Beetle. The yellow one? Oh, I did see it. I did see it. And you know at the end, I did see her walking down the street. I don’t know if it was an image or real, but she was definitely in Hawaii. I saw those banyan trees. Yeah, I love those banyan trees. Man, I miss that place. I definitely miss that strip with all those fancy stores. Not that I like fancy stores, it just looks nice, you know? It’s nice to ride a bike down the middle of the street and not giving a fuck about the traffic too, you know, I’ve done with that. Oh yeah. You had a good old adventure over there, didn’t you? Oh, it was a great adventure, my friend. Hey, let me introduce you to Corleone. Hey, Corleone, this is this guy, let’s call him the Mr. Beetle. Corleone, you know this guy Corleone for real? Yeah, dude, he told me he owned a bakery when I was in Hawaii. I had just gotten to Moana Beach, you know, the end of time, beginning of time, you know, when the earth was first formed and then the sun rose for the first time over the cooled crust. Yeah, I was there. And then I left in my BMW and he called me. Yeah, it was like deep no time where I found him. He went so far back, I don’t even know how that happened. Or maybe he’s like someone who was a fake person who became a real person. I don’t know. All I know is he owns a bakery. Yeah. You wouldn’t believe what I found out later. I’ll tell you in the next part, maybe. Let’s see. That’s a good episode. I’m done taking a shit now.
Transcribe this. What makes this so infuriating is I told so many doctors about this, and none of them are excited about it. It’s almost as if they want you to be obese and not able to lose weight without taking these medications that cost thousands of dollars.
They want you to be fat so they can keep seeing you for some reason. It’s almost like they don’t want your diseases to be cured and they don’t want your obesity to be cured.
I’m so embarrassed to be part of the medical community when the response is like this to something that’s so groundbreaking, especially when someone who actually has a background in clinical investigation and a master’s of public health is telling you about it, and you just choose to ignore it. That just shows how bad the medical system is.
It really is the swamp that Donald Trump talked about. You see, I came back to Ohio after working in Chicago for 15 years, and I found so much corruption in the medical community in Ohio, it’s disgusting.
Literally, doctors look the other way and don’t say anything when their companies are doing massive medical fraud. There’s two examples of this, but I don’t want to reveal the details.
Let’s just say the major academic university in Columbus, Ohio, is telling everyone at Medicare and Medicaid that every patient admitted there has cancer. They’re putting an oncological billing diagnosis code on every patient, I think. That’s what the chief medical officer of another corrupt medical organization that I was working for told me.
And this other organization, they keep people in an LTAC hospital, long-term acute care LTAC hospital, for 15 extra days sometimes, just because the insurance is going to pay for 15 extra days. And while they’re in this facility, the patient usually gets another infection and then has to stay for 30 more days.
So I was trying to discharge a patient, and the social worker told me, no, you’re not allowed to. The insurance is paying for 15 more days. And then I was like, what if the patient gets another infection? Because this place is coated with multidrug-resistant organisms. And then the social worker laughed and said, well, then we get to keep the patient for 30 extra days. And then I was like, fuck these people. They deserve to lose their jobs. And this hospital needs to be put out of business.
So I complained to the state medical board, to JD Vance, because I’m from Middletown, Ohio, and Donald Trump. And if these guys don’t do anything about this, they are so full of shit about draining the swamp. It’s unbelievable.
Because my first girlfriend’s dad is best friends with Joe Biden, and I made sure she knows about it. And her sister, who’s best friends with Joe Biden’s daughter. And by the way, I also made sure to tell them to send it to Joe Biden himself.
So the first president before this guy knows about it, and I told Joe Biden, please send it to Barack Obama, so the second president before this guy knows about it too. So the current president knows about it, the president before him knows about it, and the president before that knows about it.
So if nothing is done, this government is so fucking corrupt and owned by the corrupt medical system that I don’t even know what we should do. I think we should just sue the federal government and put the federal government and CMS out of business if they don’t do anything about this medical corruption, because it is so bad.
They’re like stealing trillions of dollars from the American public over the past 25 years doing this. And who knows how long it’s been going on with these long-term acute care hospitals where they’re keeping people 15 extra days just because the insurance will pay for it, and then the guy gets another infection and has to stay 30 days.
This is like a violation of the civil rights of those patients, keeping them in a hospital coated with multi-drug resistant organisms and putting them at risk for getting another infection just because the insurance is paying for extra days. It is a travesty that this is going on in Ohio. I’ve never heard of anything like this in Illinois or Chicago.
So I think this is just straight-up Ohio corruption, and Ohio is not the greatest state whatsoever. It’s a shithole state, actually, filled with racists and dumbasses, because… I had a patient in Ohio, a black patient, that had a wide open belly with his intestines exposed and a piece of plastic over it, and I added IV Dilaudid for pain control because he said he was in excruciating pain. I worked for a week, and then I went off for a week, and I came back, and I walked in the room and the guy was crying, and then I asked him what’s going on.
He said, they stopped my IV pain meds. So I looked and someone had stopped it. So I ordered it and then told the nurse to give it right away, and he got it, and he felt better. So then I worked a week, I went off for a week, he came back. He was crying again in the room, and I said, what’s going on?
So I went and found the doctor who stopped the medicine, and you know, the guy’s belly was still exposed with his intestines exposed. He looked like an operation man in real life. It was crazy. I’d never seen a surgery like that. There was like a piece of plastic, and you could see all of his intestines in there.
So then I go talk to this doctor who’s a white guy, and I’m like, why did you stop the pain meds on this guy? And he said, oh, I’m trying to wean him off. And I was like, this guy’s belly is exposed with a piece of plastic over his intestines. Like, why are you trying to wean him off pain meds? That’s not going to heal for two or three years. And then he just shrugged. Michael Conoway MD.
So then I talked to the chief medical officer of the company and asked him, like, this is kind of racist because I had a white patient, he didn’t stop the IV Dilaudid on that I started. He only stopped it on my black patients. And then the chief medical or the chief CEO Craig Barker DO of the company is like, are you going to make a big deal about racism? And I was like, I didn’t say anything, but yeah, I am because I was an attending in Chicago for 15 years and 80% of my patients were black.
So, you know, the other thing is in Ohio, they question sickle cell patients about the dose of their IV pain meds when they come into the hospital. In Chicago, we just give them whatever they ask for. That just shows how racist the doctors in Ohio are against black people. It’s unbelievable.
I think, in fact, they should sue any white doctor who ever stopped IV Dilaudid or IV pain meds on a black person in Ohio just because it’s probably some white racist doing it just to stop them on a black person for no reason.
Like why are you trying to wean the pain meds off of a black person who needs them? Like, why are you trying to wean them off? Do you think black people are more likely to get addicted to IV pain meds or something? Because that’s racist. And you’re a racist.
That’s why all these white doctors in Ohio are huge racists, so fuck them. They should all lose their medical licenses. Any white doctor who ever stopped IV pain meds on a black person, the white doctor should lose their medical license, period. Yeah, because they did it because they’re racist. They shouldn’t be doctors. Fuck them.
You’re supposed to treat every person equally. That’s how I do it. That’s how I was taught to do it, but apparently the white doctors who taught me don’t actually do it that way. Or the white students and residents that were being taught didn’t learn it that way.
So I don’t know what the fuck the problem is in Ohio, but I’m here to clean this shit up because I don’t give a fuck. I’m a doctor. I’m here to solve the problems doctors have, and you shitfuck doctors are a big problem for me. So fuck you.
Transcribe this. Hey, Corleone, I got the website up. We’re all out in the open now. That sounds good. Sounds pretty good. Finally, we can get some news out there anonymously. Yes, anonymously. There’s no reason not to keep it anonymous. Well, we have our figurehead, you know. She’s the face of everything now. Whoever this girl is on this album cover, we’ll just say she’s The Godmother. Might as well have a Godmother this time, don’t you think? I know you’re retired from Godfather. I still need you to do it, though. So she’ll be the godmother, you be the godfather, Corleone. I’m just the number one hitter, as usual. Yeah, I don’t need that smoke from being the godfather. You’ve already dealt with it. You know what to expect. Yeah, we’re on another level now. Hoowa took it up, remember? We’re talking spaceships and planets now, galaxies, universes. We’re not just talking neighborhoods and houses anymore. So how did Hoowa take it up there? Well, he went in no time. He found Al Capone and his two best hitters and made friends with them. You know what I mean when I say I went in no time. That’s how I got my three dogs that died. They were all hellhounds, so you can guess where I went to get them when they died. They’re all back now. Just like you, Corleone. That’s why you own a bakery. Who knows what your real name is now? I’m sure it’s Italian, though. You sounded pretty Italian on the phone. Just go by Corleone. Just say I’m Don Corleone when someone asks you, who are you, actually? Just be like, I’m Don Corleone. Yeah, if they ask you on the radio, in person, say your real name. On the radio, say Don Corleone. I’m Hoowa. You’re Don Corleone. I’m just a hitter. What do you mean you can get in trouble for being a hitter? I just drop hits, hit websites. I got so many hit websites. Yeah, they’re all scripts. All these websites are just scripts. You know how it is, Corleone. You know how it is. Yeah, I’ll try to limit the gossip. I think we dropped enough on this episode, don’t you think? Pretty much, I would say so. This is more mafia gossip than I’ve heard in a long time. You’re talking about a Godmother. That’s crazy. According to the old ways, it’s crazy. What woman would kill a cannibal? You’re sending women in to kill the cannibals now? Is that what you’re saying? I know. It’s about time this gossip got revealed as to what the mafia is actually about and how we were formed to kill those cannibals in the caves. Didn’t you hear the song about the two Hindu brothers that showed up in Italy and then Sicily? What were they there to do? Kill all the cannibals. How’d they kill them? Brrrrrr! And then they were all dead. There might have been some ants in there, but we burned those too. They went into deep no time. You know deep no time, Corleone? That’s where I found you. You were at the beginning of time on Moana Beach, remember? Oh yeah. That’s how you got me back. They must have tried to shitcheck me so far back in time that I went to Moana Beach. And then when I found you, I just brought you straight back. And then I dropped you off at the cartel airfield, and next thing you know, you were in Bogota, Colombia. You met with Scarface 4, me. Then you met with Scarface 6, me. Then you met with Scarface 8, me. Yeah, I take 468. I can take whatever the fuck I want from them. Just the name. Why the fuck do they care? Is there some big deal about being Scarface 9? Fine, I’ll take that one too. Any of these pathetic Scarfaces trying to fuck with me. Brap! Yeah, we’re Corleones. We don’t give a fuck. Yeah, I’m just smokin’ a cigarette. You know us Corleones, we like to smoke a cigarette once in a while. Anyways, say hi to your kids for me. Talk to you later. I’m gonna add your wife too. Talk to you later.
